If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
No more vodka shots for you. Last night you begged a man on your knees to sell you his beard. He had no beard.
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
And then the night went full on bisexual.
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
Randomize