I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
I want to have your abortion
Sacagawea was the original milf.
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Randomize
