May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
Do you think if Santa was real that he's have a big penis?
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
So yeah, don't be alarmed when you come home after work to find me eating cookie dough out of a margarita glass with a knife and watching The Little Mermaid. It's been one of those days.
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
I'm bleeding and have questions
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
Randomize
