no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
Come over and play the Jeter 3000 drinking game. You drink if the commentators say "captain" or "3000". I'll drink if they say "overrated" or "past his prime".
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
In lieu of flowers, please donate to The Hungover Children's Fund in my name.
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
Something about finishing sexting a guy and him going "well. I have to get ready for Passover now" really makes me rethink my life choices
my favorite part of this morning was sitting at the gynecologist smelling like cigarettes and wearing yesterday's clothes.
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
Randomize
