I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
Pretty sure I left lotion and my bra in your car. I've secured your fathers belief that your straight. You can thank me later
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
I am the most hated person in hoboken. Ive been doing drunken cake boss impressions down the street for the past 20 mins.
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
Randomize
