Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
You were my sober police. You had one job and you failed miserably.
I'm a corrupt cop.
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
Randomize
