Woke up this morning with one boob drawn on to look like the globe. Questionable?
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
I'm basically your average "grandpa stuck in a 28 year old woman's body" - i'm super passionate about retirement and crossing on the walk signal.
and SLEEP god I love sleep
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
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