Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
OMG A WOMANS PROSTETIC ARM JUST FELL OFF AT BAGGAGE CLAIM
my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....
My mom said she saw you at the bar last night and asked how you were. She said, you replied with, "Oh you know, just knocked up."
Figured I'd get right to the point
He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
Why the fuck am I at this dorm meeting? I don't pay $50,000 a year to stay sober.
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
Randomize
