i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
Seriously? Do you have me saved in your phone as 'check every 3 months to see if she's single yet'?
his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
I feel like I should pray to the god of Febreze, because it is like it washes away the smell of all my sins from the bed
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
Randomize
