Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
Listen, i'm watching playoff hockey and eating waffles. i just don't have time for your drama today.
I'm in the grocery store cradling a box of wine like it's my firstborn, so of course this would be the first and only time I've ever seen my boss outside of the office.
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
Randomize
