You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
so the weed I found in my fridge is actually lettuce. tell jim I need that 5 bucks after all
Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
Your roommates boyfriend just approached me while I was working to tell me about the staph infection he got on his face. Where do you find these people?
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
Randomize
