I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
How have I seen you throw up on yourself 3 different times, yet we weren't Facebook friends until I accidentally hooked up with your ex?
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
Randomize
