you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
you handed me the dorito you were about to eat and told me to 'keep him safe' while you went to the bathroom
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
No no no...you park the car, stick your tongue down his throat, slip your number in his pocket, invite him to insomnia, and THEN LEAVE. You go from awkward to epic in a matter of seconds.
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
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