Pregnant stripper...not hot.
Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
a search helicopter?!
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
I just had a contest with the toilet to see who could hold their breath longest.
I won
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
No I don't want to see you. You're the reason that I'm going to need a new liver by the time I'm 30.
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
Randomize
