hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.
Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
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