and this is why I hate my dad. He got 25x more angry with me when I wanted to drive a different route then he suggested to get to his house (more scenic- thus more enjoyable) then he did when I told him I was driving drunk with 4 people in the car and I got my 5th speeding ticket last night.
Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
My ATM looks so different sober.
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
I'm currently on an epic search all over the city for a drug store that isn't sold out of Plan B. I celebrated your birthday from afar.
There's even glitter on my cock...
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
Randomize
