you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
The batteries in my vibrator died before I could finish. Which is a lot like my sex life lately......
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
So! As of five minutes ago I've officially masturbated in every room in my apartment
Dude, I helped you move in yesterday...
Randomize