On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
My brain says no but my pants say off.
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
Randomize
