he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
I smuggled my gin and tonic out of the bar by shoving the glass in my pocket...mistakes were inevitable.
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
Randomize
