I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
Just so we're clear this time around: This is dinner with my FAMILY. Not an opportunity for you to drink too much, and use the word "dick-thumpin" in casual conversation.
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
I had an awesome dream where you were a stegosaurus and I was a triceratops and we were hiding from a t-rex and had mad dino sex
It doesn't matter how nice the shirt you wore to the bar was, you still shouldn't have worn it to a job interview
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