No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
Just promise me we won't die tonight. I can't have an autopsy report that reads "stomach contents: Tequila and semen."
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
Well you were already wet from trying to drink straight from the faucet, so I just put you in the bathtub with a pillow and called it a night
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
Is it weird that I have your number saved in my phone as baby Jesus?
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
Randomize
