4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
the next pure michigan commercial i see, i am going to pee in a fucking lake
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
Well this lady at the bar told me I was a natural on the tambourine and that it was my God given talent. and then she gave me a tambourine.
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
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