The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
The only thing keeping me calm right now is pretending to chop off everyone's heads when using the paper cutter
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
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