i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
I drank so much Goldschläger last night, I could shit a necklace.
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
Psh a bachelors degree is the new adulthood. We're all just pretending anyways. I'm sitting on my boyfriends couch while he's passed out drunk. In my lap. On a Wednesday. And he's a nurse. See, pretending to be an adult
I'm in a dress, surrounded by Republicans, and the bartender just told me he's "out of Jack Daniels" in a very accusatory tone. Shit, is it only 8 PM?
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
This electrician is just ripping my house apart and I'm too hungover to ask questions
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
Randomize
