call me tomorrow and ask me about coke-whore stripper. It hasnt happened yet, but im sure it will be plenty disappointing.
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
My boss just gave me full permission to come into work wasted this weekend.
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
When i like your selfie it means one of two things. 1. thats a nice photo, friend. OR 2. I wanna bend you over a table. But youll never know.
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
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