well that one time I was being a total idiot trying to see how much I could drink. turns out 22 shots is too much. surprise surprise! ambulance party!
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
This wedding is gonna be a disaster. I already had to turn down one of the groomsmen who offered me $100 to sleep with him next wknd.
Too low?
Yes.
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
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