I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
you said "how could you not want to hook up with me when I have these abs" and then proceeded to rip your shirt off in the middle of the bar. I'm pretty sure you were hammered.
JESUS
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
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