Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
the EMT asked how you broke your nose and you said, "you know, the usual wear and tear."
all of the sudden, the other guy at the bar who was celebrating his birthday got a super inspired look on his face and then screamed at me ''our parents fucked on the same day!''
Im just a social blackout drinker.
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
I'm just that drunk tells people I love them or wants to set them on fire. Accept that.
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
Randomize
