remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
Randomize
