Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
You're going to replace me with a robot made of heating blankets and a vibrator?
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
Randomize
