Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
Great parenting moment: noticing your kid is going to puke from gorging fish sticks and sending her outside. Then watching her puke on your dog.
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
Aren't you glad we're at the point in our relationship where I don't even ask why you're hiding in the cabinet?
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
Apparently, the Mormons have taken over airports. I was told by a befuddled looking clerk I couldn't buy a beer with breakfast before 6am.
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
Randomize
