Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
Todays life lesson brought to you by last nights half pitchers of cheap sangria: you'll never get the stain or the SMELL of sangria vomit out of your bedroom carpet.
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
I'm like a savant for remembering names I learned while I was drunk. Seriously, I'm three for three. I'm on a roll.
They have beer where we have blood.
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
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