I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
I think I'm allergic to vodka. Or people getting engaged. One or the other. I want to die.
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
Randomize
