its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
Randomize
