I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
I am compiling a playlist that reminds me of all my best sexual encounters. It shall be called THE MUSIC OF MY VAGINA'S PEOPLE
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
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