I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
I knocked over his glass and he yelled "Oh no the boxed wine!" and slurped it off the coffee table. Then he showed me how to mix maple syrup, Jameson, and coffee. My family is better than your family.
Randomize
