Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
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