My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
When you went through airport security you asked if the could check if a baby was in there. That drunk.
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
So drunk me is not subtlety trying to get her boss to cheat on her husband and have a lesbian affair with me. Sober me is ok with that.
Randomize
