3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
To be fair, this is a tequila-while-rewatching-Benedict-Cumberbatch-as-Van-Gogh idea, so I don't know if it will hold up tomorrow.
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
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