i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
Any day you don't mysteriously wake up in the garbage is a good day.
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
Please ask me to tell you about the time I watched two of my friends chase my drunk roommate with a broken foot around downtown
I think I'm just going to go like every guy on tinder who has a jetski. I'm doing this for us, Summer is coming.
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
Randomize
