my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
i'm so high that my cigarette just tasted like chef boyardee. no lie.
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
I literally just biked home like I was on the last leg about to win the tour du France. Fuck diarrhea
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
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