Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
I'm sad that I feel like I need to temporarily change your name in my phone from Smashley until you have the baby and can be unsober with us again.
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
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