my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
I woke up to three texts telling me to "go fuck myself," a panicked voicemail from my mom, and a girl thanking me... I'm not sure which I should take care of first
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
Randomize
