went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
Oh you have the munchies, Dad? That's great and congratulations on the weed but STOP EATING MY APPLE PIE
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.
We were sexting and i didn't know what to say, so i said i wanted to wrap him in tortillas and devour him like a burrito. then i went on by saying that i liked my burritos with a lot of cheese.
Nothing says "I'm sorry for shitting in your bed" like an Olive Garden gift card
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
Randomize
