so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
Do you know how I hurt my ankle or my shoulder? Or the origin of any of the following mystery bruises: left quad, left wrist, right elbow. Thanks for playing.
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
Having to grow a landing strip to cover the bruises from pole dancing. Thanks for the birthday present, but next time, maybe just a gift card?
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
I only have one kid whom I wish to hit in the face with an active jackhammer. How's work?
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
I just dropped a condom on the floor at costco in front of my girlfriend and her husband. Today is not going to go well.
I know I drink too much cuz "ssssjllapph peneinssesss" automatically comes up in my phone now.
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
Randomize
