he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
I think they took out their livers years ago and replaced them with like cheese graters or something. Only explanation.
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
When you can pee with one hand accurately while texting, you drink too much.
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
Randomize
