Where is the hickey?
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
If I don't singlehandedly make your gf realize she needs to straighten the fuck up or ruin your relationship before I leave I have failed you as a friend.
Success! We fucked roommates!
I have sent texts to the pizza delivery guy telling him he was beautiful. Oh and you almost got a ticket for pissing in public. And I smell like cheese.
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
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