I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
Randomize
