WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
you scanned your fake to get into the dorm last night and when the lady told you it was the wrong card you looked at her and said this is who i am thursday night
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
Randomize
