I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
The party tonight has no theme but I decided to go as a home wrecker.
i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
Sometimes having a penis is like having a really stupid drunk best friend. You see it doing dumb shit but you're just not the one in charge.
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
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