i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
The fact that you screamed, "Alf is my spirit animal!" is proof enough that we're too old for peyote.
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
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