Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
Masturbating to death wouldn't be a terrible way to go. If you die tonight, I'll know how it went down. Promise not to tell your family.
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
Pretty sure he proposed because my house is awesome. His ass is a ten and he's offering to pay more than half the bills... How expensive is a divorce really? I mean I could probably put up with him for three or four years but a lifetime is a big ask.
Randomize
