Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
Pretty sure I just became my mom's wingman
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
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