Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
He kept saying the best defense against a lion is to punch it in the throat.
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
Grindr hookup awareness: always make sure that you agree to blow one person and they aren't bringing a Friend/boyfriend. Shits weird when you're sober.
So, just saw a lady hysterically sobbing in a Walmart at 3 AM. Someone's not having a happy mother's day.
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
Randomize
