But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
I just put poptarts in the toaster with the wrapper on, that's how hungover I am.
Randomize
