Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
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